Friday, December 16, 2016
Monday, April 18, 2011
In love though distant
You have held constant,
With a fierce heart of hope
You have never ceased to dote,
Whether phone calls or mail
Your love comes without fail,
I feel like the love you ensure
Could never cease to endure,
Without a doubt these days with you my wife
Have been the most treasured of all my life,
My closest times with you are my greatest treasure
And I can’t wait for the pleasure of being blessed together.
And though this time apart from each other has been so trying
I know that there is a reason God kept us prying,
Deeper and deeper into His life and our love
Showing us who He is with a gentle shove,
Until we see that He shows us His character
Through our own selfless love for each other.
Thank you for loving me this day
I pray you feel my love in every way.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
- If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.
- Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!
- Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, buy only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
- Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Monday, February 1, 2010
Saturday, December 26, 2009
The next day was all the normal, my sister and her husband came over early to play games and relax with us since they only lived fifteen minutes away. After spending most of the morning with them I received a phone call from my best friend Alisa Kieswether telling me I could come over now. She also told me that Grace's(her older brother Matthew's girlfriend) sister Emily was there and that she was excited to introduce us. So I said goodbye to the family and the brother-in-law harassed me as usual and I jumped into my father's old Nissan and stole off to the Kieswether's. I got there in the late morning early afternoon and was surprised to see everyone so active on account of the family, especially Alisa and Breanna(Alisa's younger sister), being night people and in no way morning people. But I came in and was surprised to see Breanna acting weird, and I assumed it was because of Grace's sister, who I instantly knew she was thinking of trying to get me involved with, which I didn't appreciate, but it made me nervous meeting her because maybe there would be something there. After turning into the kitchen Grace, Matthew, and Emily came climbing in through the sliding glass door into the kitchen all smiling. I caught Matthew's eye and we hugged, as well as with Grace, and then Alisa introduced me to Emily. I was thrilled, my first thought was that she looked very pretty and mature, and Christian, and like I should have no serious relationship with her outside of friendship, because she looked quite a few years older than me, and I reminded myself that I wasn't looking either, not that she'd look four or five years down in age anyway. The Lord was preparing me for the service and I was sure He wasn't going to throw such a giant wrench into my plans as a future wife so early. So we shook hands and everyone started talking and playing as usual. I finally caught up to Ben, Alisa's boyfriend, and we started playing with the two younger Kieswether boys as usual. We were playing a board game on the floor when Matthew came in with Grace, along with Emily and the other two girls Alisa and Breanna, and our game went to shambles. Eventually somehow between Ben and the help of the two boys I ended up getting completely tied up in the strings from a yard toy, and what always follows me being tied up or immobilized somehow was some far too intense tickling. I'm regrettably very prone to it, and extremely weak in the area and it is often utilized to my frustration. I can perfectly recall getting a glimpse of Emily's face and seeing complete distress on her face, and I soon heard her saying for the boys to stop on account of my lack of breathing, but that hope of escape was quickly shut out by Alisa who said, "oh don't worry, this happens all the time, he's fine." But I was glad to be a part of Emily's attention, I was starting to like her against my earlier thoughts. Throughout the rest of the day we played capture the flag with squirt guns, I was happy to be on the same team as Emily and often found myself shooting her instead of the other team. It was then that I started getting glances from Breanna, and I could tell what she was thinking, and I realized that I was definitely flirting, maybe not to the average eye, but the two Kieswether girls knew me better than anyone else, and if they were catching it, Emily might too, so I told myself to calm down...
After cooling down and changing clothes from getting soaked we were doing miniscule things that I can't remember, but eventually came to watching some type of videos on the computer on the internet, and I knew where to get some even better and kicked Breanna out of the chair and sat down, eventually everyone was gathered watching and instructing me what to watch next and Emily sat down on the arm of the computer chair, and after a little while was leaning up against me. And I was rather enjoying it, any thoughts I'd had even minutes before of not flirting or getting closer to her lept from my mind. Soon after we decided to watch a movie, and one I was excited to see again, the Prestige. All the seats were taken (as usual), and I was excited to sprawl on the floor (as usual) when I saw that Emily was on the floor also. I might have taken advantage of it. Needless to say she eventually ended up sitting elsewhere, and I was sad, thinking that perhaps I was wrong to think she liked me also. After the movie everyone went off to bed, and I was lucky enough to catch a hug from Emily before I left, and it was a very good one, she hugged me around the neck, and no one I know does that, and I loved it. After I left on my way home I remember thinking of how to slyly see her the next day, before she left without Alisa and Breanna thinking too much of it. But I decided I needed to let her go, I needed to focus on other things....
A few days later Alisa and myself were running a few errands at Fred Meyer for her family, and while we were pulling in she got that sly aspect of her voice in tune and I could tell Emily was about to somehow enter the conversation. I tried my best to convey no interest, but she saw right through it, and I couldn't help but smile, and admit, maybe I did like her, but it didn't matter, I would not see her again for a long time and we would both be changed by then, not to mention that she wouldn't take interest in me anyhow, she was what 23? And I 18.... And then she laughed, so hard, and disclosed to me that Emily was in fact three years younger than I, not even 16! I was shocked, maybe there could be a future there....
Friday, November 20, 2009
It's weird to think about whether or not I would entrust something to my Lord or not, because I have always known that God has power over everything, and I have always assumed that I and everything else were under His direct path or plan, which I still believe. But now I've come to discover that there is influence in what we decide, yes He knows what we will choose but WE still are the ones who choose it, and I believe we have some considerable say in the authorities and who we choose to serve everyday. So would I trust the most precious thing in this world to Him? Completely choose His path in that, and let Him completely have say in everything, knowing and trusting that everything will be taken care of? I know I do even know, but it scares me. It's not the unknown that scares me about it alone, it's the hardship, awkwardness, trials that follow, both in trusting something precious to Him and myself. This now falls into listening to the gentle nudges God endlessly calls upon me. And a lot of the time I am ashamed to say I have not listened and obeyed to what He has asked me to do. And the reason is fear, but in what? Every single time I've ever done something under His calling the result has been magnificent and infinitely rewarding to not just me, but more importantly someone else who needed it too. So why step back? Why even hesitate? I think I've found my answer, it is my pride. But I do not know how to over come it other than by the simple means of time in and time out doing the one thing I don't want to do. Now my only problem is this, beating it when the time comes, and realizing this opportunity and taking it for my Lord. So if you ever are bored, or feeling the fear and draw like I do, please text, call, or leave a message either in encouragement or distress; because I think I need you. Your testimony and your need are what will overcome my pride, for by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony they will overcome :) I just need to be reminded of things, and remember when the time comes, that the Lamb that was slain receive the reward of His suffering. So do I trust Him, yes, and I'm working on it little by little, and I will rise, under Him, because I am listening now.
As for what's next and memorizing and prayer the three are all entangled with what I just spoke. Every time I've come to the Lord with that question, He hounds me about memorizing scripture and praying every chance I get. I hear His voice in my thoughts and I know it to be true. And He has given me such wonderful tools for all of them. My love constantly reminds me to pray, and I'm so grateful, my mentor is most serious about always finding time to simply STOP and listen to God and hear what He has to say, and I have in my pocket right now a topographical memory card that holds multiple pre-made scripture cards in a protective sleeve.
My God has made me ready, now I just have to prepare for what I know He'll lead me to become
Today will be a great day,